To Turn Back Time
by oovwee
Summary: Oneshot. A passionate night was ruined by the presence of alcohol. Can Jessie deal with James' missing memories?


Absentmindedly throwing a twig into the fire, Jessie let out a sigh the entire woods was sure to hear. "Dammit," she said aloud while kicking at a pebble in the ground, ignoring the mud splashing on her usually pristine boots. Once she knew her partners were out of earshot she continued, "why didn't I do anything?" She moved to a small patch of thick grass and flopped down mindlessly. Perturbed by a rock sticking her in the back as well as her own situation, she hit the ground beside her in frustration with her fist, only to cut it upon another pebble hidden among the seemingly soft grass. "Oh, that's just _great_," she mused aloud, watching the crimson fluid drip from the gash. Knowing she couldn't afford to soil her last clean uniform, she made the short walk to the supply box while incessantly cursing the ill-placed rock. Wrapping the wound to her satisfaction, she returned to her previous train of thought. It wasn't fair to James for her to not tell him. She knew he had been slightly intoxicated the night before, but she had no clue he was so inebriated his memory would be impaired. She sat near the dying embers that had been their warmth the night before and openly cried. She knew James and Meowth wouldn't return from town for a while, especially with James still hung over, meaning they couldn't return to see her cry. A small rustle from behind her startled her and she turned around frantically while futilely wiping tears from her ivory face.

"Chaaaaarbok?" the snake-type Pokémon asked worriedly.

"I had forgotten I had let you out to hunt," Jessie admitted, no longer attempting to hide her tears. Since she had received Ekans as a Christmas gift, she had always talked to the Pokémon about the things she refused to share with her human companions. Arbok, understanding the forlorn mood of his trainer, wrapped himself into a coil at Jessie's feet, leaning his head into his trainer's lap. Jessie offered a weak smile in return. "Is it that obvious?" she asked while attempting to wipe away drops from her fresh batch of tears. "I told him," she began in a monotone voice. Absentmindedly stroking the top of Arbok's head, she continued to stare forward. "Sure, I was tipsy at the time," she sighed, "too tipsy to realize he was pretty much wasted. I did tell him however." She lulled in her explanation momentarily and Arbok nudged his trainer's arm for her to continue her story. Jessie understood the meaning and continued, choking out her words through tears, "he said he loved me too." She stopped again, building up the strength to admit the next part to her trusted friend. "We had sex," she admitted quietly. "I thought we had made love, but I realize that that would have required a different set of circumstances. How could I have been stupid?" she concluded, burying her head in her hands.

Arbok did not understand most of the complex human issues his master spoke of, but he could understand the emotional distress well. He was aware that just being there and allowing Jessie to vocalize her worries or problems helped her immensely. He remained coiled at Jessie's feet, willing to stay until she was done with her outburst. Jessie's choked out sobs slowed and she returned to a normal breathing pattern. "I'm so sorry, Arbok," she apologized softly. "It's just he didn't acknowledge any of it this morning when I talked to him." She began to run her brush through her long hair, "and I returned to my own sleeping bag afterwards to try to keep Meowth from teasing us, so he had no reason to suspect anything" Pulling her knees to her chest, she hid her face with her arms, "I should have known it was a bad time to admit my feelings like that, but I guess I had some help from the alcohol." Jessie's nails dug farther into her thighs until one of her fingernails pierced the skin. Startled by the pain and the sensation of blood dripping down her bare leg, she sat up and investigated the damage she had done on herself. Not wanting to return to the first aid kit, she wiped up the blood with the exposed bandage on her hand. "I sure look like a mess," she mused aloud while admiring the small puncture wound. Knowing she needed to find the motivation to finish her usual morning chores, she looked at the snake-type Pokémon still coiled beside her. "Thanks for listening Arbok, why don't you go ahead and return," she said holding out a Pokéball with a shaky hand. Clipping the Pokéball to her skirt, she began to tidy up camp as she did most mornings. It was customary for her to clean the area while James and Meowth procured supplies. Hurrying to make up for lost time, the female welcomed the work as a distraction from her own thoughts. She actually finished her entire job before James and Meowth returned, a rare feat. Carefully applying makeup in order to not bring attention to her bloodshot eyes, she could hear her two companions nearing the camp long before she could see them. She glanced in the mirror with an annoyed look, "Not your best look," she whispered to herself while re-wrapping her still oozing hand one more time before James and Meowth entered the clearing. She turned around from the basket just in time to nearly be face to face with James. Pink crept up her cheeks as she attempted to fight back tears. "G-good morning," she said quickly before turning around and pretending to re-organize the first aid box. "Did you find everything alright?"

James held the edge of the green basket with one hand, glad to have finished the trek with Meowth as his head was still somewhat spinning. "We picked up a few things. Could you hand me a couple ibuprofen?" Jessie complied quickly without looking up at her companion. "I thought you were going to change out of uniform. This _is_ our day off, remember?"

'Shit!', Jessie's mind raced. She had been so taken in by her own thoughts she had forgotten about their day off. "Oh I remembered," she lied quickly, "I just got busy cleaning up from last night so my uniform slipped my mind." She still stared at the ground, refusing to look up at James.

"Well yous twos," Meowth began, sensing the tension between the two, "I think I saw another Meowth down dat way. I'm gonna check it out," and Meowth made his quick escape before he became stuck with the task of mediator once again.

James chuckled until the jolting motion of his pounding head caused him to stop. Carefully massaging his temples, he commented, "Only one thing on his mind right now, huh?"

Jessie rolled her eyes skyward. James could be dense at times and his timing was usually awful, this being no exception. "Something like that," she mumbled as she finished her job. Making a decision to find out what she could from James (and hopefully jog his memory), she sat down beside him. "So you did get pretty wasted last night."

"Nothing you haven't done," a pained James snapped back.

"Touchy," Jessie commented. "So I'm guessing you don't remember coming back to camp?"

James thought hard, he always hated when Jessie played mind games. Unfortunately, his memory past leaving the bar was fuzzy at best. "No," he answered forlornly. "Why? Did I say something?"

Jessie's heart sank and she bit her lip to fight back tears, "No, you didn't say much." She turned her head away and blotted her eyes quickly, "So you don't remember a thing?"

"Nothing at all," James said, shaking his head. "I hope I didn't miss anything too important?"

Unable to hide the tears any longer, Jessie sat up suddenly, "No, I guess you didn't miss anything worth while," she said coldly, "I'm going to wash off a little. I'll be back later." Grabbing her shampoo and a change of clothes from her small bag, she rushed off in the direction of a secluded area of the river they were travelling beside. Tears streaked her freshly applied makeup, and Jessie no longer cared about the cleanliness of her uniform, stripping it off and throwing it haphazardly into the dirt. She slowly lowered herself into the river, allowing her body to acclimate to the cool water. Finding a large rock to perch upon, she cried softly to herself. She knew she should tell James of their encounter last night, but she lacked the courage. The scene played through her mind again and she smiled lightly at the tenderness and passion they had both displayed. Jessie lathered up shampoo in her hands and began to scrub the soapy lather into her scalp. After rinsing her hair thoroughly in the water, she stood on her rock and began to lather her entire body. The sensitive area between her thighs was still sore from the night before, leading the young woman into another reason for why she should tell James. She hadn't been the only one to lose her virginity last night. Still, her courage waned, and she knew she would probably never tell James. She returned to her sitting position and cried one more time, letting it all go. She would never tell James, and she would never be capable of looking at him in the same way again. She cried not only for her regret of the night before, but for a love that was lost before it had a chance to begin.

Back in camp, James lay on his sleeping bag, attempting to ignore his hangover. He was almost asleep, but a small metallic piece of trash caught his eye. Cursing the unknown object furiously, he crawled over to grab it and move it to where it wouldn't reflect light in his eyes. Slitting his exhausted eyes to examine the object of his frustration, he froze. Normally, such an item casually thrown on the ground would have cause James to squeal and step back, but something about the wrapper made James' brain click. James' eyes widened when he realized his reason for recognition. That was not just a random stranger's condom wrapper thrown on the ground, he had used it. He had used it when he….James refused to let his mind go any further. Lost memories from the previous night hit him with the force of a tidal wave, and he had to lay down in the grass to deal with the shock. "Jessie and I," he admitted aloud barely audible. A small smile spread across the man's face. He had finally shared his feelings with Jessie. As quickly as the smile materialized, however, a devastated look took its place. All James could hear was Jessie's earlier comment of 'not missing anything worthwhile.' James returned to his sleeping back and lay in silence, dumbfounded. Their time together obviously meant nothing to Jessie, as she hadn't even mentioned the incident to him. "I loved her," he whispered to himself before allowing the spinning surroundings to take control and lure him to sleep, his emphasis on the past tense.

* * *

I originally planned on this being much longer, but I think I found a satisfactory ending. Not every story can end in happily ever after, right?

Please R&R :D


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